Crud, I spoke too soon.    Spence was a nightmare last night.  We have a 3:45 appt with the ped this afternoon.  I pray that she finds some clue as to what's going on.  I want my goofy lil boy back! 

Whooo-hoooo!!!  My little man is back to his same old silly self!!    We had been having such a problem with him at night...I was becoming seriously sleep-deprived.  But, last night, he was nearly back on track.  Seems the lil guy is having severe separation anxiety from the momma.  All it took was me putting him to bed and then me going to him during the night when he woke up.  Now all we have to do is "re-train" him to sleep through the night and Spence will be 100% back to being himself.    Yippeee!!  I predict full sleep by this weekend.  (i hope)

This weather is freaky.  If you haven't heard, check out any story on the O's game yesterday.  We had a freak snow-storm that lasted about 10-30 minutes depending on where you were.  Reduced visibility to nearly nothing and the wind was blowing soo fiercely you could barely stand.  Within minutes, snow stopped and sun shone.  Very very weird.  I'd like my warm weather back, thank you very much!

Okay, I gotta get back to work.  Just wanted to let you all know I'm still here and not hiding in some hole! 

I need your help.  Remember a while ago I said I had to make a difficult phone call?  Well, I never did it, I chickened out.  But this past week has really forced me to open up my eyes. 

It boils down to this...my dad is not capable of caring for my mom anymore.  You see, he's an alcoholic.  He admitted this to my brother and I, it must be over 10years ago now, and I had thought that was in the past.  Recently my husband and I had noticed our liqour supply dwindling...we don't drink a heck of a lot.  This week and the beach...it was quite obvious my dad was sneaking drinks.  He was literally bombed or hung-over most of the vacation.  It makes me sick.  I don't want to be around my mom or my dad.  I'm soo angry at him, it makes my heart hurt.  I need to make this call...to a good friend of ours who could maybe point me in the right direction.  But, do you, any of you...have any experience with alcoholism?  I mean, I love my dad, but he can't take care of my mom or ever babysit for my children again.  I can't trust him. 

The worst part, is that I want to cry and yell and scream, but I can't.  I just want to get this out, but I can't.  My husband is awesome, but this is happening to my parents so it's a little different, you know?  I'm soo lost, I feel like I'm totally alone in this.  My perfect family is falling apart.  My brother has turned his back on us, my mom is rapidly falling to dementia, and my dad is slowly killing himself.  Not quite the Cleaver household I had thought we were growing up, huh?

Phew, I'm sorry for being soo heavy.  I'll be checking in periodically this weekend to check email and to try to blog some more.  You all take care and stay safe. 

I gotta say, I don't wanna come home tomorrow!!    I'm soo used to just getting up, walking out of the sunporch and jumping in the pool or hot tub.  Going home is gonna be tough...hee hee.  Kyra is going to expect to be able to wear shorts and go swimming everyday!  She is such a little fishy.  At the beach yesterday she was initially afraid of the ocean, I think the noise of the waves got to her....but after that, I couldn't tear her out of the water (despite blue lips and shivers).  Spencer is also a riot in the water.  He tries kicking to swim and just giggles the whole time we're in the water.  Royce tried sitting him at the edge of the water in the sand yesterday a couple of time, HA.  Spence was having none of that! 

It's become quite clear that this will be the last vacation my mom can ever take.  That part of the vacation is killing me....it's soo sad to see and we're all struggling with it.  Please pray for us if you have a spare moment.  We're hoping there's a space for my mom in the adult day care when we get home.  She needs that and my dad most definitely does... more on this when I get home.

Y'all have a great day and SURVIVOR IS ON TONIGHT!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!

Well, I'm writing from warm, balmy Fort Myer's, FL.    Today is a bit rainy, but it's still better than 40 degree weather!  I had to tell you about the flight down, as it is definite proof that the days of relaxing and reading are LONG gone. 

About halfway through the turbulent flight, Kyra (sitting in the window seat in her car seat) announced that she had to go poopie...and she had to do this on the potty.  I informed her that there weren't any little potties, only big ones, is that ok?  She said yes, please, I have to go poopie.  So, we had to push through the steward and the drink cart to get to the airplane restroom/closet.  (I don't know how many of y'all are members of the mile-high club, but I now have huge respect for you...)  Here I was squatting in front of the commode, holding my daughter in hover position while she did her duty (doodie??).  After getting her all cleaned up and diapered (and I grabbed the wrong one...so I was trying to squeeze her into a size smaller while she was standing), we went out to go back to our seats.  At this point, Kyra announced, rather proudly and loudly, "Grandpa, I went poopie!!!!"  And, she didn't do this just once either.  Yeah, having a toddler means that you lose any and all inhibitions and privacy.    But, she was rather proud and I'm tickled that she wanted to do her business on a plane!!  One of first purchases upon arriving in FL was a potty so she could continue to WOW us, and she has!

Oh, and the box we sent 2 weeks ago with all our clothes and toys?  Yeah, never arrived.  So, we've been doing a lot of shopping, trying to buy some necessities for me and the kids.  (Royce hadn't put any of his clothes in the box, so he's set.)  I'm a wee bit ticked that my hubby sent the box parcel post and without insurance!!  It weighed over 48 lbs and was filled with brand new clothes and such for us.  grrr.  Oh well, live and learn, I guess.

Y'all have a great weekend and a wonderful week!

My prayers are with our servicemen. 

Well, the 48 hour ultimatum.  Reading soo many different blogs, listening to NPR, reading the newspaper and watching the news...and I still don't know what's right.  Sure, I believe Saddam should be stopped, he's butchering innocent people to serve his own means.  I want Bin Laden stopped as well, who in the US doesn't?  But is this war just G-dub trying to make up for his father's mistake?  Or is there truly the threat that Saddam will use these weapons of mass destruction?  All I know right now is that I'm on a plane heading to Florida for some much needed R&R on Thursday.  I'm simply praying for a safe and relaxing trip...and possibly enlightenment.  I don't want you all to get the idea that I'm a dove, I'm not.  I'm also not a hawk.  I want these mad-men stopped, and if war will accomplish that end, then I will support that war.  (Just wanted to clarify...)

Interestingly enough, here at work last Friday, we had Ken Alibek, author of Biohazard come to speak.  I'm pretty afraid of what bio-terrorism can do now, but I refuse to let it cripple me.  I'll be reading the book, along with some good-old-fashioned "smut" (gotta love Danielle Steel) during my vacation.  I'll let you know what I think when I finish.

I have some awesome new pics that I'll try to scan and post this evening.  I have a ton of cleaning and packing to do, tho, so we'll see if I get 'round to it!  Y'all take care!

The meeting with the social worker went ok.  Mom became extremely sad and then angry with my dad.  We expected this, but it did not make it any easier for my dad.  I hate hearing him soo sad.  He is such an awesome person, my respect for him grows daily as he meets each new challenge.

On a happier note.....6 more days till Florida!!! I can't begin to tell you how I am looking forward to this vacation.  We're going to see a Spring Training O's vs Twins game, visit with family, go to the Ford/Edison Museum and plantation...and be vegetables!!!  We sent the box of our goodies yesterday...50 lbs for less than 25 bucks!  Whooohooo!  It'll be sooo nice to not have to deal with all that crap.  We'll still have a couple suitcases, but it'll be much more manageable.

Well, y'all have a great weekend. 

My dad meets with the social worker at home today.  She's going to come and evaluate my mom.  This is where I think things are going to get bad.  Very bad.  I think there has always been this part of my dad that thinks that my mom won't get any worse.  That she'll still be able to giggle with him and hold his hand and call him Stan.  He's starting to realize that those days are numbered. 

I've known for a while.  That doesn't make it any easier.  I want my mom back.  I'm starting to think I have soo many problems with my mother-in-law...because I almost resent her being "normal".  Does this make sense?  It's like I feel she should be the one with dementia because she is older.  Crazy.  I don't wish this disease on anyone, ever. 

Please pray for my mom and dad.  They are two of the greatest people I have ever had the privilege of knowing.    I'm soo lucky to be able to call them mom and dad.

Okay, it's been entirely too long, again.  I keep doing this.  Well, after reading http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=LuckyStars I was encouraged to write a little bit about my little ones. 

Every single morning I have the pleasure of being woken up by my little bed-head, sleepy-eyed peanut.  She shuffles into our bedroom holding, always, her baby and her sippy cup.  She comes to my side of the bed, always, and just waits...for me to pick her up and put her between me and the daddy.  We whisper for a little, g'mornin', how'd you sleep, I love you like crazy, sweet girl...then, without fail, she leans over to daddy.  "Let's go downstairs and get my vitamin."  Every single morning...without fail.  She loves them Flintstone's lemme tell you.  She's got to do it by herself too...well, after you open the childprood cap, that is.  This morning tho' we had a little misunderstanding.  I'm still cringing.  I got out of the shower and went for some snuggles...and of course to ask which color did she have this morning.  She went on to tell me that she didn't get a vitamin, that Daddy didn't...that she couldn't....and she cried....  Well, being the mommy, I thought she meant that she threw a 2yr-old tantrum, daddy took the vitamins away until she apologized and calmed down.  So, I told her atleast 30 times to go right back downstairs young lady and tell your daddy you're sorry.    Mommy was wrong.  Mommy ended up apologizing.  Daddy hadn't seen that Kyra didn't get her vitamin because she was having problems getting one out.  So she came up onto our bed and just layed down and was sad until she could figure out what to do...and what'd I do??  Yell at her.  Ugh.  I just wanted to hold her forever.  We did get to have some good snuggles this morning after that fiasco...thankfully.

First official lesson in jumping to conclusions as a parent.  I will learn from this.  I don't ever want to see that sad face again...not with mommy being the cause of it.  She's getting some huge hugs tonight, lemme tell you!!