April 9, 2003

• Here's some entertainment for you, some oldies, but goodies!!! 

  
  

  From the old Hollywood Squares show in the 70's:
  Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at
  least how high?
  A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
  Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
  A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...
  Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a
  man or a woman?
  A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
  Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you
  think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and
  ask him if he's married?
  A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
  Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
  A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
  Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love
  you"? A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a
  twenty.
  Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
  A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
  Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you
  going to get any during your
  first year?
  A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing
  strawberries!
  Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
  A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
  Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
  camps. One is politics. What is the other?
  A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
  Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
  A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
  Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail.
  What will a goose do?
  A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.
  Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth
  to? A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the
  dark.
  Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting
  into the habit of kissing a lot ofpeople?
  A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
  Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is
  it? A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't
  neglected!
  Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150
  pounds? A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.
  Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
  head, what was he trying to do?
  A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
  Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or
  your elephant?
  A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
  Q: When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?
  A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.
  Q: Do female frogs croak?
  A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
  enough.
  

  • 11:42 am
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